Coffee is my lover in the morning. So until our lips meet, mommy is off the clock. I can't hear you, I can't see you and I can't comprehend you, until I have my coffee!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Mommy Concerns

Sometimes i wonder if I'm doing a good enough job as a mom. I often go to bed and scrutinize everything i did that day and try to think of ways to improve.  Like one day I'll think, Did i play with Lexi enough? Did i teach her something new? Did i give Skyler the attention and affection he craves? Did i talk to Izayah and give him some one-on-one time? Did i give Izayah the cuddles and affection that i know he wants, but won't admit to? Am i doing enough for the baby regarding playtime, feeding table foods, and is her schedule ok? I often wonder if my leniency of her naps is alright or should i put into effect a more strict schedule?
Then there are the household chores. Ugh. I just can never stay caught up on them! I have so many responsibilities that it really can get overwhelming sometimes..okay often!  My life involves: 4 kids, a baby(yes it gets a credit all of its own because taking care of a baby is HARD!), cooking all the meals, laundry, taking care of 2 cats-feeding and litterbox, cleaning a 1300sq ft house, taking the boys to and from school, watering the strawberry plant, cleaning the car out, going to playdates, storytime at the library, and all the responsibilty of raising wonderful and successful children. This has got to be the most important and heaviest thing that weighs on my heart and brain each day. I want to do MY best as a mother to raise them to be productive members of society, have christian values, be a great man to his wife plus a loving and attentive father, be a strong woman and a wonderful mother to their children, be successful in their careers, be educated, be kind to everyone around them, and to call their mother at least once a day. ;)
I find myself struggling with what i cook for my family-Is it healthy? Am i doing the same recipes too often? Am i introducing new recipes? Am i a good cook or are they just eating mediocre food? When we eat fast food or pizza, i feel a little guilty. I know McDonalds is awful but they love it and they have grown up eating it. And it's so convienient to grab a burger while leaving Walmart to go run another errand.  Sometimes while making my grocery list, i will go totally blank. I will get so tired of the decisions being mine that i will shutdown. It's all on me-what are we eating for dinner? Then i have to take into account of how much i have to spend that week on groeceries and make a menu off of that. Then i have to go buy the groceries(with kids with me of course) and then i have to cook the dinner. (Is it something they all like or will someone choose to eat PB&J instead? Do i have the groceries for that?) And then i will most likely hear the following while i'm cooking the dinner...."What are we having?"(whiney voice) "Do i like that?" "But i don't like that stuff!" "I want a peanut butter and jelly instead." "Eww what's that?!"
So, sometimes i will vent here because it's really the only place i feel like it's appropriate. I know most women will feel these things and not say them out loud to anyone. But i think it's healthy to write it or put it into the universe, just to get if off my brain/chest. It is therapeutic for me and i thank you if you are reading all of this. And i'm sorry. haha
40% this

And 60% this. haha {Zen mommy!}

3 comments:

  1. Love it...and YES we as mom's get stressed more than anyone will know. lol as we tend to hide it inside. This is a great way to explode. I love it.!

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  2. Thank you! It sure makes me feel better and i have a TON more to get out! haha

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  3. You are a flippin amazing mom and friend!!! All mom's have the same concerns from time to time. I totally understand the need to vent! A blog is a great way to get it all out...and don't forget a friend will always lend an ear too :) Love ya!

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