While being a mom, there is a level of awareness with me. At the end of the day, I look at the clock telling me is midnight, and I'm like, "What the heck?! Where did the day go?! I didn't get this done, did I give my kids enough attention? Did I teach them well enough today? did they eat healthy? Did I ever eat anything besides coffee?" then I realize it's too late for bath time, rush my kids to brush their teeth & then send them to bed with a kiss and a hug. then I lay down & feel completely guilty for not giving them more of myself throughout the day.
Anyone else? Am I alone here? I feel like I'm going on fast forward & I don't know if I got anything accomplished. When the kids are asleep and I'm in bed, this is when my mind is clear and I am fully aware that the hourglass has run out. My mind then races, almost in panic mode, realizing that I wanted this day to count. I want each day to teach something that sticks. Something they will use or remember when they are adults. Or create memories or traditions they will use with their children. But oftentimes, the reality is, that most days are just small steps in the right direction. Not every day has to be a big event. I have to let go of this supermom mentality. If I pick up Doublestuff Oreos instead of making homemade cookies at the end of a busy dance day, that's OK! Because tomorrow I will make something homemade, delicious, and hopefully healthy. The point is, we can't be 100% all of the time. No one said you have to! Do what you have to do, do your best, kiss your kids goodnight, and by God's grace, tomorrow will be another day.
I hope I am raising amazingly successful adults, but I won't know that for many years. What I do know now is, I have 4 amazing children, and they are everything I want them to be.
